Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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