I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize