D3 body, D1 cock
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
