I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
