Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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