After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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