hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
