chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
