I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
