woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
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I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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