if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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