So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
