So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
