party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I donΒ΄t want to leave spain.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
