Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
