I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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