I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize