This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
