A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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