After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
