every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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