just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
