ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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