I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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