i just wanna soil my oats bro
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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