Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
