also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
