I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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