Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
last night I used snow as a chaser
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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