Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
