I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
