The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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