lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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