Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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