I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
