so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
