I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Betty ford says i'm here all night
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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