We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
