put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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