I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
