There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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