Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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