wrigley field is MILF paradise
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She told me I should be a condom model.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
