if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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