found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
