okay pat passed out under dana's car
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
