i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
