I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So vagazzling was a success
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
