Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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