I am puke
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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