Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
