Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
