found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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