im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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