never play flip cup with pint glasses
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
