I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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